Thursday, December 27, 2012

I'm back!

Don't wait for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come into someone's life.
Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they'll notice. If they don't, you know where you stand.
I wish you hadn't turned your back. I wish you had explained. I wish you hadn't made me lose my faith in everything.
Don't bother saying sorry because it's useless when you don't mean it, and don't bother asking to be friends, you don't deserve my friendship, and don't bother expecting me to be there for you anymore, because I won't be there for someone who was never there for me.
There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don't feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can't seem to connect to anyone or anything.
You've got to learn to push through the hard times because you have to face them. Running from them now will only make you too tired to fight through when they catch up with you later.
I want you to know that I love you. I never did stop, not for one gasping second. My love for you is unconditional and it will never end as long as I live. I refuse to find others when I have the one I want. I never doubted us, but you did. I never stopped thinking about you even though you stopped thinking about me. I never wanted to let go, but you did.
Sometimes if you really want to make things work you have to keep your mouth shut and put your hurt aside.
We are all looking for answers. In medicine, in life, in everything. Sometimes the answers we were looking for were hiding just below the surface. Other times, we find answers when we didn't realize we were asking a question. Sometimes, the answers can catch us completely by surprise. And sometimes, even when we find the answer we've been looking for, we're still left with a whole helluva lot of questions.
You what I think hurts the most? The feeling of being replaced. It's like no matter what you did, it wasn't enough. And no matter what you do to try and capture their heart again, doesn't seem to work. And you're suddenly left thinking that you'll never be enough. And a sudden sadness captures your heart that never really leaves.
Maybe instead of thinking you know everything, let go of your ego for a while and you'd start to get to know her. And maybe if you threw away your fears of getting hurt and just loved her, maybe you two could make it.
You are going to lose people in your life. And I realize that no matter how much time you spent with them, or how much you appreciated them and told them so, it will never seem like it was enough.
Sometimes the people who are always there for you, are the ones who need you the most.
I've always believed that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else.
No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.