Monday, July 7, 2014

Just hold on, we're goin' home.

I love you Colby. Thank you for being
everything to me. You're always going to
be my Superman. <3

I haven't been on here in a long time.
This post is for you baby boy.

I am scared that one day I will lose you,
and not just for a day, forever. I don't want
to lose you, that is the last thing I want.

There is one moment in your life when you are
with someone and you feel like the world has
stopped and your life seems so perfect.. make sure
you never lose that person.

You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I
was drowning, and you saved me. It's all I know.

Right now I'm in a state of mind, where I couldn't
care less what happens to me. All the people who
once kept me grounded have all disappeared and
now there's no one left to help pick up the
shattered pieces

Even though we weren't in love, I miss that
boy more than anyone will ever understand.

Don't ever change the way you are; I've never
loved anyone more.


Sunday, March 24, 2013

a human life is a beautiful mess.

And a heart that grieves, gets lost in everything.
And a heart in need, finds hope in anything.

Even though you may want to move forward in your life, there's always something holding you back. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.

The important thing is to not be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember that it is only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you home.

Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.

If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough.

It's alright to take a break from everything. It's alright letting yourself go and giving yourself some breathing room. Just remember how to get yourself back.

For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail. Not because the absence of love. Love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much and the other wasn't being loved enough.

You are still young. Do not make your life miserable by thinking problems. Instead, always think that in every problem, there is a solution, and everything will all be okay. Do what you think is right. Take risks, try new things, laugh and live life as if there is no tomorrow, for the next years of your life, you will have no choice but to be more responsible so enjoy while you are still young and vibrant.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

We fight for one reason; because when we fight, we truly find out how much you're willing to take before you break and when you break, you need to see if that other person truly cares enough to make everything okay again. Because without fighting, liars of love could be walking all over the place.

We like to pretend that high heels don't hurt our feet, and that we always look as good as we do when we're wearing make-up and our prettiest clothes. We like to tell ourselves that not every guy is the same, and that maybe he'll change if we're patient with whatever life throws our way. We hide behind smiles and mask ourselves in laughter while thinking maybe it'll be enough to convince ourselves we're really that happen; we tell ourselves we really need to be that happy. But sometimes, life isn't okay, and it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to hurt, and sometimes, we just need a reminder that we're only human. And as miraculous of a blessing as that is, it can still break you down, leave a mess, shake you up, and confuse you until you don't understand what it means anymore. You're going to hurt, you're going to fall, and you're going to make mistakes that - sometimes - you even know better than to allow yourself to make. But that's okay. Sometimes, you just need a reminder that it'll all be okay; here's your reminder, beautiful. Hold on for better days, keep that gorgeous smile where we can see it, because I can promise you things won't always be this way.

We lose people we love because they are meant to love someone else. We lose them because we are destined to find somebody else. It is a simple fact that is sometimes hard to accept because we are too stupid to let go.

Everyone has a certain part of their lives, where they truly wish they could just freeze time. Whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come. Whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer. Everyone has a time in their life, when they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning and people would stop changing. Because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.

You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart. Because when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong instead.

We have voices and stories and plans and dreams and ideas. We have hope. We will wake up tomorrow to a day that has never been known. We are living a life that has never been lived. We are here for a reason. We exist to love and be loved. Life comes back. Things do change. Storms do pass.

It seemed cruelly unfair to me, even then, how fast your life can change before you have an opportunity to rethink your choices. We should get second chances on the big stuff. We should come equipped with erasers attached to the top of our heads. Like pencils. We should be able to flip over and scribble away mistakes, at least once or twice during the duration of our existence, especially in matters of life or death.

I'm not sure how I feel about our situation anymore. I am just glad it is in the past, and that it is going to stay in the past. I've changed so much, I'm nothing like I used to be. I'm so glad. Thank you for making me grow up, even if it broke me down back then, I'm glad now.

Not everything turns into what it's supposed to be. And not everybody is supposed to just walk out of your life. Sometimes surprises and second chances do happen. And when they do, you better not be afraid to let them happen.

I want people to feel an immediate happiness and cheerfulness when they are around me, to make a difference in someone's life. I want to make an impression in someone's life, so that even though I may be delicate and fragile, my footprints are permanent within the hearts of the ones I've touched.

So, you'll come across so many people in your life. Ones you think will stay in your life, stay with you forever. You come across people you will love, very much. But sometimes love isn't enough to tackle all the obstacles in life and you will have to deal with the heartbreak of knowing that that person you love is gone and you're left, alone, to try your very hardest to fall out of love. To do something you never thought you'd have to do. Just keep your head held high. Don't let it get to you, don't fall apart. Clear your heart and let it go. And when it comes around again, let love in. Because you never know. It's all about having faith.

This is life. People will screw you over. You'll fight with your family. You'll witness things that will change you forever. You'll blame new lovers for things old lovers did. You'll lost best friends you thought would always be there. You'll come to realize that everyone has a past. You'll cry, you'll laugh and you'll embarrass yourself. But then, you'll find your very own moment where none of that matters; where you can sit back and realize that stuff happens to the people who can handle it and that this is who you are, and that no one should want to change you...including yourself.

Sometimes we just don't appreciate those people who really care for us until they leave us, until we lose them, then we regret. Outer beauty doesn't matter; it's the inside that counts. It's better to tell someone how much you love them, rather than to not tell them and lose them without telling them. You'll regret it.

You never see the hard days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the other.

You don't have to be tough every minute of every day. It's okay to let your guard down. In fact, there's moments when it's the best thing you could possibly do; as long as you choose those moments wisely.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

I wait for the days where I will forget who you are. When the taste of your name sounds old and worn. I wait for the days when I won't remember why I needed you so bad. Insomnia is a kind of torture. Because while the world is fast asleep, you're up all alone. Your mind buzzing with every random thought in the universe. And sometimes, the thoughts will reach a standstill, and your mind goes blank. You become more aware of the silence. And it's during this moment that you realize how alone you are. If someone really wanted you, they would have tried to show it. If they didn't, screw them and find someone who actually will. Don't waste your time on somebody who doesn't know what they want, because someone out there knows what they want; it's you, and only you. When you truly care for someone, their mistakes never change our feelings. Because it's the mind that gets angry, but the heart still cares. I think every day is made up of tiny little tests. Some are tests of character, some are tests of fortitude. Others are tests of friendship. And if you're lucky, when it really matters, you'll pass with flying colors. I promise that one day you'll meet a person, who will completely stop you in your tracks and take your breath away. It's going to be so unexpected but just remember to not let that moment pass. They don't occur often. Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody has it easy, everyone has issues. You never know what people are going through. So pause before you start judging, mocking or criticizing others. Everybody is fighting their own war. I'm not one of the prettiest girls around, but you make me feel so beautiful when I'm with you. When somebody tells you that you are not good enough, that is when you know you are better. Some days, you'll feel sad without knowing why. Like you lost something very precious but forgot what it was, or you miss someone you never met. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Love is passion, obsession; someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy, and who will love you the same way back. And how to do you find them? Forget your head and listen to your heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because the truth is there is no sense in living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love; well, you haven't really lived at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter who painful your situation might be, you can survive it. In life, you will realize that there is a purpose for every person you meet. Some are there to test you, some will use you, some will teach you, and some will bring out the best in you. Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it, because what the world needs is people who come alive. At this moment, I feel completely at ease, completely happy. Nothing can ruin this feeling, nothing and nobody. I've finally come to accept things as they are, and it may not be perfect, but it sure feels close. You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. I hope you're happy now. I hope she was worth it. I hope she is a million times better than me and that you can't live without her. I hope she's your everything. I hope she gives you butterflies and takes your breath away. I hope she's prettier than me and she's a better person. I hope she's smart and creative and everything else I failed to be. I hope this lasts forever; I hope it never ends. I hope everyone loves her. I hope you're loving life. I hope you're done with your old ways and I hope you're a better person because of her. I hope she's everything I'm not. Actually, I hope she gives you herpes. (HA!) If you can't be kind, be quiet.